Martin Tithonium (tithonium) wrote,
Martin Tithonium

It could be argued that two Sobe No Fear in as many hours could result in one feeling anxious and on-edge.

But I'm much too caffeine-addicted for that. It would take at least twice as many to really have a serious psychological effect. I might get a little buzzed at two or three, but not much more.

On the other hand, being /near/ the edge, I could see this pushing one /onto/ it. So I'm wondering what I'm so anxious about. I was compulsively cleaning one of the living room tables last night. THAT wasn't caffeine. I just finished cleaning off a big chunk of my desk at work. HAD to do it. The compulsive need to clean tends to accompany a feeling of being overwhelmed, and an attempt to control one's environment as a coping mechanism. WTF do I have to be overwhelmed by? We're launching my project this week - theoretically, and if we don't it'll be another department's fault. It's got some pieces that aren't done, but nothing that stands in the way of launch. So that probably isn't it. The post-partum depression I frequently get after a major launch doesn't set in until /after/ it's actually launched, so that seems unlikely. Tho it has been a large time between done-in-theory and launch, due to external constraints. So maybe.
I spent a large chunk of the double-long weekend playing video games or reading. Nothing real pressing there.
Maybe it's the lack of direction on what I'm going to do /next/. I mean, I need to finish up the loose ends of the Deploymotron work, but the meeting where we'll figure out how much I'm going to do there and what I'm doing next doesn't happen until wednesday. Hm. That /could/ be involved.

Maybe I'm just hungry.
Tags: navel gazing
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