ok. I think oort is finally done. It required a new cd drive ($25? for a /cd-rom drive/? Shit, I can buy a DVD burner for that!), and pulling some old unused cards (the ubuntu boot disc liked to lock up when it found the pcmcia controller board), but Oort is now running Edgy Eft. I think I've managed to get everything working again except for slowen (my web-based quicken alternative), because the database structure is completely gone. I'll have to decide if it's worth recreating it.
I'm sure I'll find more things in the future that aren't working, but they hopefully won't be critical. I don't think any data was lost. I was able to pull off tarballs of everything I could think of. Odds are I'll realize I missed something about a month or two from now, but what're you gonna do.