cow suggested, in passing, that I not ask Scott (the bartender) to invent me a drink. I'm a bitch, so I had to.
I asked him to invent the Purple Monkey Dishwashed. He misheard and invented the Purple Funky Dishwasher, which wasn't that great. When corrected, he invented the BEST DRINK IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. The Purple Monkey Dishwasher, aka the Otter Pop, is basically an Amaretto Sour, plus squeezed Lemon, plus Chambord. It's /fucking amazing/. I liked it so much I bought the table a round. The I offered to buy the next 15 he could sell to the bar at large. After a while, he'd only sold 4, so I told him he he announced it on the tanoi, I'd buy 25 total.
Shortly after, having been left alone, I moved up to the bar and asked where we were at. We'd sold all but 2. So I said put all 25 on the tab and settle it. $255.24, after tax, plus $75 for tip (which I told Dan, who I'd just met, to split evenly between him, Scott, and the waitress-whose-name-I-can-never-remember,
Scott is leaving Finn's, in favor of starting his own place downtown. I will, I swear to god, drag each and every damned one of you there. He's gonna give me free wifi, 'cause he loves me. Whitelist, baybee. And Purple Monkey Dishwashers for everybody.